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There’s a book that addresses an issue most women don’t take into serious consideration when looking for a life partner. Financial security. I know what you’re thinking “I do!” but honey let’s face it when love comes into our hearts many of us throw financial status out the door because we believe the money will come later or convince ourselves it’s not as important as we once believed. This is especially true in a woman’s early 20’s (I’ve seen it happen many a time and have even been guilty of this in the past myself).
The book is titled Smart Girls Marry Money written by Elizabeth Ford and Daniela Drake, and the title alone tends to spark controversy and conversation amongst many. Yet it also empowers some women to come up with a new game plan for finding a mate…maybe. Statistics prove that almost 50% of marriages fail due to lack of financial security so the authors say that it’s time for smart women to wake up and smell the money! They use real life stories, stats, as well as science to build their case for why marrying solely for love is not a wise decision.
“Why does society applaud a girl who falls for a guy’s big blue eyes” yet denounces one who chooses a man with a big green bankroll”? After all, isn’t earning power more a reflection of a man’s values and character? – Excerpt from Smart Girls Marry Money
The author’s premise is that young women should not waste their love on young financially unstable men because they may never become successful and, if they do they’ll probably eventually just exchange you for a younger model when you’re too old to successfully compete again for marriage (Insert Scorned Cougar here). So basically instead you should marry rich while you’re still young enough to bait the rich men. Pursue a desired lifestyle and a man with resources to supply for that lifestyle, because although money can’t buy you happiness it’s easier to handle the stresses of marriage in a 12,000 sq ft mansion of the hills than in a studio apartment in Van Nuys. To these authors love is at the bottom of the list in things to look for in a husband.
This book didn’t really resonate with me, however the authors do have one point (and one point only in my opinion) which is “It’s just as easy to love a rich man as it is to love a poor one.” Technically speaking this is true. However I don’t think there’s a need for anyone to get married if they are not able to provide a sufficient lifestyle for themselves as an individual first. Meaning if you’re living in your parent’s pool house or constantly crashing on a friend’s couch, marriage should be the least of your concerns! I also think couples should talk about finances before talking marriage and have a financial game plan for their future before ring shopping is even up for discussion. It isn’t the lack of money in and of itself that puts the tension on marriage (money comes and goes for all of us). It is Lack of knowledge and preparation for a future together that drives the divorce rate.
Think about it….We spend most of our lives planning our future but with the ideal that we’ll eventually fall in love and marry someone who will get in line with our plan, with no resistance or complaints. However that’s not reality nor how relationships work, but many have tied the knot before truly understanding the gifts of trust, patience, and compromise – all of which are directly affected by money.
“Just as our words reveal our heart, the way we use our money also reveals what is in our heart. Our Lord said –Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also” Mathew 6:21.”
I know people (both men and women) that strictly perceive all matters related to money are strictly business and therefore marriage as a business deal; so based on what the authors of this book are saying the ideal of marrying for money works for some people. On the flip side I know plenty of romantics who believe in finding their soul mate, and living happily ever after just like in a fairy tale. And then I know others who land somewhere in the middle and believe that with a lot of work they can have the best of both worlds in marriage and money. Without passing judgement I will just say different strokes work for different folks.
My overall point is money is both a tool and a test. How you prioritize the importance and use of it in your life will have one of the biggest impacts on your overall happiness no matter who you choose to marry. However if you haven’t learned to love yourself enough, and become self-aware to know what you really need and want in this life, marriage won’t fix these issues, and the marriage will be doomed for failure regardless of your intent for a union. I also think that the basis of a “successful marriage” is going to vary for each couple. There really is no right or wrong answer it’s just a matter of what each couple strives to achieve through their union. If a women desires to be with a man for financial security, then she should find a man who feels the same way and unite because they deserve each other (Note: If you marry for money you will earn it! Take that however you want to). I choose to marry for love with the mindset that my husband won’t be my savior or key to happiness, he’s my partner and he and we can grow our wealth together. This doesn’t mean I’m going to marry a man that’s fiscally irresponsible it just means I don’t expect him to be rich.
What are your thoughts on this topic? Comment below on if you feel women should marry for money.Loading Likes...